In the 30th and the 31st of May, I visited Tokiwa University in Mito, with my colleagues from Langara College. Our schedule was full, but by far what most was occupying our minds was the presentation we were scheduled to do in front of local students and faculty members. The theme was broad: [ something we have learned in this field trip to Japan, relevant to be presented in front of Japanese students] and preparation time was short. But my team was motivated, and I believe the final results were positive.
Lucy presented on Kawaii culture, Rebecca talked about female and mother relations, Enoch compared the way Japan is portrayed in the West to the way the West is portrayed in Japan, and I spoke on Honne and Tatemae. My intention for this blog post is to elaborate on what I said in my presentation.
After I moved to Vancouver from Brasil, I experienced a moderate identity crisis. Partially due to language barriers, I found it difficult to feel like and be "myself" in the same way that I always have in my home country. It seemed like translating my identity to a different language and culture was not as an automatic process as I thought it would be. I felt like I had two different notions of "self": the one who existed in Canada and the one who existed in Brasil. Many things have changed since that time, but my interest in the concepts of self and identity remained. In fact they increased, after I changed my major from business to psychology.
In the first weeks of the program, still in Vancouver, I heard of Honne and Tatemae for the first time. I was immediately intrigued by the notion of the same person having a "public" self and a "private" self. I remembered the identity confusion I experienced for having two notions of self in my first months in Canada.
Wikipedia translated honne as "a person's true feelings and desires (本音 hon'ne, "true sound")". And tatemae as "the behavior and opinions one displays in public (建前 tatemae, "built in front", "façade")" (i)
While in Tokyo, I met with a japanese friend I know from the time he spent in Vancouver. Kare no namae wa Lucadesu. He showed me some touristic places and local gems around the areas of Harajuku, Shibuya, Akihabara and Tokyo Dome City. here's a photo of us eating ramen. It was superb.
We spoke a lot. We had a lot to catch up afterall, but I didn't resist asking him about some aspects of japanese culture I was learning in class. Honne and Tatemae was one of them. He explained to me, in his words, that honne is the way you truly feel inside, and tatemae is the way you present yourself to others. Tatemae is reading the air, he said, and sometimes not saying what you really feel in order not to stand out. As the japanese saying goes, "the nail that sticks out gets hammered down".
At first this idea seemed a little alien to me. Perhaps an aspect of the tradition of conformity that some people associate with the japanese. There are no words in the english (or portuguese) language that translates them, so I assumed, together with the peers in my group, that honne and tatemae was strictly an aspect of the japanese culture, that didn't exist outside of Japan, especially on western countries. So, initially, the goal of my presentation was to elaborate on how social interactions take place in North America, where there is no sign of honne or tatemae. But as my thoughts progressed and my research went further, it didn't take long for me to realize that, to a certain extent, I was wrong.
To western ears, ignoring your true feelings to speak of things you don't really agree with, just in order to conform, may sound like lying, or being hypocritical. And that is often the case, when it comes to the way that some westerners portray Japan. In a separate blog post, I will discuss about this perception, and comment on a research made on the topic.
Link: https://psndoadan.wixsite.com/website/post/is-tatemae-lying-research-comment
I understand where the stereotype is coming from, as initially this idea gave me the same impression. Omitting your honest feelings and beliefs in the way you present yourself to others, in order to preserve harmony and not stand out… The tone of my presentation to Tokiwa university changed when I realized that I had used tatemae myself, just a few moments earlier!
After staying awake until late at night with my group and waking up early in the morning, just a few hours later, I was not feeling quite "genki". In fact, I was very much UNgenki. I was exhausted. My tiredness and bad mood did not change until the bottle of Boss coffee in my hands was empty, but I didn't want to let my grumpiness intoxicate people's mood before that. So whenever someone would try to start a conversation with me, I ignored my honest thoughts of running away from them while covering my ears and conformed to talking politely, in order to maintain harmony and not stand out. When they asked me, "Giri-san, ogenkidesuka?" I ignored my honest feelings of "hell no" and conformed to "genki desu" instead.
Honne and tatemae are essential, a necessary part of living in society. Any society. Inside our outside of Japan, anywhere in the world. The way one behaves around one's new boss or professor will very likely be different to the way that one behaves around one's closest friends. If your mother in law asks you about her dubiously smelling pie, the answer she will get from many people will be fantastic, regardless of how true that is. Although varying in extension, some form of this will be found in every culture I can think of. It doesn't matter if you are in Japan, Canada, Brasil, Spain, South Africa or Antarctica, omitting your true thoughts in the way you present yourself to others in order to preserve harmony will eventually be in your best interest. Most times it will even happen naturally, without one having to think about it. Although tatemae is still more characteristic and expressive in japan than in it's somewhat more subtle expression found in the West, it still exists everywhere.
In the novel 1984 by George Orwell, the political party in charge believed that by limiting the language available to people they would be limiting their ability to think. So if, for example, they removed the word "freedom" from the common vocabulary, people would not be able to think of it's concept. Tatemae exists somewhat in contrast to this idea. Since, although there may be no word that translates tatemae in most languages, it is still very much real for the majority of individuals around the world.
“'The whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought. In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it" (George Orwell, 1984)
I believe that the fact that the japanese language has a word to describe tatemae just reflects on how important the concept is considered to be to this culture. And it is very understandable that something like tatemae, in which aspects of your personal discord are sacrificed to give preference to the group's harmony, will be valued in Japan. Given the results of extraordinary organization, politeness and respect for which japanese culture is known for.
I will end this blog posts with the same words I ended my part of the presentation at Tokiwa University:
"Saying what you truly think in some situations can give us the sense of authenticity, but many times we may be perceived as being rude.
Using tatemae in other situations may make us be perceived as hypocritical, but it creates a society of respect, collectivism and organization, which are all things that I believe the west has much to learn from Japan."
2:58pm
12/Jun/2019
The Dorm library, Osaka
Japan
Wikipedia article on Honne and tatemae:
A video on Honne and tatemae:
About Language and 1984